Values as a Compass: Making Decisions That Feel True to You

Have you ever made a decision that looked perfectly reasonable on paper but felt wildly wrong in your body?
Like… your brain said, “Great choice!” but your chest said, “Ma’am, absolutely not”?

Yeah. Same.

Most of us have been taught to make decisions based on logic, expectations, or what will disappoint the fewest people. Very few of us were taught to ask, “What actually matters to me?” or “Does this choice align with who I’m becoming?”

That’s where values come in.
Values act like a compass, not the old-school kind you only use on a hike, but the inner kind that quietly points you back to yourself when you start wandering off into “shoulds,” people-pleasing, or pure overwhelm.

Values aren’t just words. They’re direction.

A lot of people think values are these lofty concepts like integrity, honesty, compassion… which they are. But values also show up in really practical ways:

• What you say yes to
• What you say no to
• How you spend your time
• How you treat yourself
• How you let others treat you
• What you choose to tolerate
• What you choose to walk away from

Values aren’t just about who you want to be.
They reveal who youalready arebeneath the noise.

When you don’t know your values, decisions feel harder.

You’ve probably felt the difference.

When you’re disconnected from your values, choices feel like pressure.
Everything feels complicated.
You second-guess yourself constantly.
You feel pulled in a hundred directions.

And the worst part?
No matter what you choose, you still worry you picked the wrong thing.

But when your values are clear, decision-making becomes calmer.
You’re not choosing between good or bad, you’re choosing between aligned or not aligned.

It’s like switching from “What should I do?”
to
“What feels true to me?”

And that shift changes everything.

Your body often recognizes value misalignment before your mind does.

You know that tightness in your chest?
That pit-in-the-stomach feeling?
That sudden exhaustion after someone asks you to do something?

That’s your internal compass saying,
“This… does not line up with what matters to us.”

And then there’s the opposite:
The lightness.
The spark.
The peace.
The little internal “Yes, this.”

That’s your compass pointing you toward alignment.

Your body is often honest before your brain catches up.

Values evolve as you evolve.

You might have values you inherited from your family, your culture, your past self, or even that one teacher you really admired in 8th grade.
But here’s the truth: you’re allowed to outgrow them.

Maybe your old values were:

• productivity
• responsibility
• achievement
• perfection

And now your soul is whispering for:

• peace
• authenticity
• rest
• meaningful relationships
• emotional growth

You don’t have to keep living by values that belonged to an older version of you.

So… how do you figure out your values now?

Try asking yourself:

“What do I want my life to feel like?”
“What matters more to me now than it did five years ago?”
“What am I craving?”
“What drains me every time I agree to it?”
“What choices make me feel more like myself?”

Often, values reveal themselves in these desires:

“I want more time.”
“I want more honesty.”
“I want more calm.”
“I want to feel appreciated.”
“I want to stop abandoning myself.”

Look closely enough, and your values are right there in your answers.

Let your values shape your decisions, even the small ones.

You don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight.
Start with small, doable moments of alignment:

If you value peace, protect your rest.
If you value connection, reach out to someone intentionally.
If you value authenticity, tell the truth a little more often.
If you value growth, say yes to the things that stretch you.
If you value boundaries, practice saying no without apologizing.

Small actions create alignment.
Alignment creates confidence.
Confidence creates clarity.

And clarity?
That’s what makes decision-making easier, lighter, and more grounded.

You deserve a life that feels aligned, not just busy.

Life becomes less chaotic when you stop trying to be everything to everyone and start being aligned with yourself.

You know the feeling of walking in the wrong direction... that internal tug, that subtle heaviness.
But you also know the feeling of walking in the right one... the ease, the steadiness, the breath in your chest that suddenly expands.

Your values are not rules.
They are invitations.
They point you back home every time you forget your way.

If you’ve felt lost, scattered, overwhelmed, or unsure…
it doesn’t mean you’re doing life wrong.
It simply means your compass is asking to be recalibrated.

And now you know how.